I don’t get baseball. I mean, I do, but I don’t. If a game is on television I can certainly follow it. I understand what the various positions are, what the object of the game is, etc. I even know a fair amount about the teams and players because I am a sports fan in general and tend to remember the things I read (sports magazines) and hear (ESPN radio & tv). But there are most definitely some aspects of baseball that, not only do I not “get”, I find downright silly.
Different Leagues, Different Rules?
Hockey has the national hockey league – one league, one set of rules. Football has the national football league – one league, one set of rules. Basketball has the national basketball association – one league/association, one set of rules. But baseball is made up of two different leagues, with different rules. What? Baseball is a sport that, above all others, prides itself on statistics, right? The game is built on and measured by stats out the wazoo, right? Well how in the world can those stats be worth anything when people aren’t compiling them in a uniform environment with uniform rules??? From team to team, game to game, the players literally aren’t playing on the same field.
Sure the infield may be the same from park to park, but the outfields sure aren’t. Not only might one park have a right field wall distance of 325′ while another’s is 340′, the distances aren’t even consistent within the same park! Comerica’s right field wall is 330′, while the left field wall is 345′. That’d be like the goal posts at Lambeau Field being 10 yards deep in the end zone at one end and 25 at the other. And not only is the distance from home plate to the outfield walls not standardized, the height of the outfield walls isn’t either. Some parks may have outfield walls that are 8′ high, while others may be 15′ high (or more). Oh, and one side may be higher than the other even within the same park. Again, that’d be like the goal posts being 10′ high in one NFL stadium and 15′ in another stadium… or, even weirder, 10′ high in one end zone but 20′ in the other end zone of the same field. How would that make sense??
Forget steroids (for the sake of this discussion), with no uniform size to ballparks how can home run statistics mean anything? One player could play in a “hitter’s park” his entire career and rack up big home run numbers by hitting balls out over a close (312′), short (8′) outfield wall, while another may play in a cavernous setting (345′ outfield walls) with a Green Monster (37′ high) to contend with. Again, for comparison, that’d be like comparing touchdown numbers between running backs where one played on a 100 yard home field and another on one that was only 75 yards long. One inarguably has an easier row to hoe, so how can they be comparable?
Other than (1) they never have been, or (2) it gives each park “character and charm”, can someone please give a serious, logical reason why baseball field dimensions aren’t standardized? Because it certainly doesn’t make sense to me from a logical, competitive point of view…. and I didn’t even get into the differences in foul territory area.
Temper Tantrums and Underoos
A grown man runs up to another, red faced and angry. Gets right in the other man’s face, yelling and screaming. Spittle flying, chests bumping. having to be restrained. Heck, if he’s angry enough you may see dirt kicked, caps torn off in disgust, even bases ripped out of the ground and thrown. Ah, the baseball manger meltdown. You get at least one a week, often delaying the process of the game (a game that already lasts forever) interminably when the manager refuses to leave the field even after his antics get him ejected.
You don’t see hockey coaches running out onto the ice and getting in the ref’s face when they disagree with an icing call. Football coaches may yell, but they don’t get physically confrontational and chase the officials out onto the field. And basketball coaches may be a bit more inclined to argue with the officials than their hockey and football counterparts, but you still don’t see them throwing the gatorade cooler around or running all over the court making a spectacle of themselves (Bobby Knight notwithstanding 
). Why is this type of tantrum acceptable (expected even) from baseball managers? Didn’t most of us grow out of this type of behavior shortly after the “terrible twos”?
And speaking of making a spectacle of themselves… why, oh why, do baseball managers wear the same uniform as the players?!? Imagine a hockey or basketball coach dressed like one of his players. Or an NFL coach on the sidelines decked out with shoulder pads and helmet. It would look absolutely ridiculous…. as do baseball managers! Don Zimmer may be a legend and a great guy, but do we really need to see an overweight, 76 year old man in his underoos sitting in the dugout?
Was it customary at some point in the past that managers were also players? At least then it would make sense why they wore the uniform. But that is certainly not the case now, so why do it??? And why are they “managers” anyway, not coaches??
Just Part Of The Game, Or A Crime?
If I picked up a fist sized rock and threw it at your head – intentionally – that would be a crime. Yet, in baseball, it’s “just part of the game” for the pitcher to intentionally throw the baseball at someone. WTF?! I don’t care that they’re wearing helmets, getting hit in the head with a baseball can cause concussions, fractured skulls, ruptured eardrums, or even kill you! So why is it acceptable in baseball to intentionally throw a potentially lethal object at another person’s body or head?
And for the STUPIDEST reasons! At one point this past season a young player had the audacity to hit a home run off of Roger Clemens. You know what happened the next time that kid came up to bat? You guessed it! Clemens intentionally threw at him. WHY?! Because that kid did his job and hit the ball?? How in the world does that make sense??? That’d be like a wide receiver catching a touchdown and then the next time he comes on the field the cornerback he beat deliberately taking him out with a clothesline. It wouldn’t make sense and it wouldn’t be justified. But hey, just part of the game in baseball, right?
Which leads me back to the different leagues / different rules point. Pitchers don’t have to bat in the American League, so it’s even more egregious to me when pitchers in the AL throw at batters because they never have to fear walking up to the plate and getting plunked in retribution for one of their beanballs. No, one of their teammates will have to suffer that fate. Doesn’t matter which player, whomever is next up in the lineup will do. 
Hopefully I’ve not (seriously) offended you baseball lovers out there. I have written this a bit tongue-in-cheek, but my questions and observations are nevertheless serious. I don’t understand why ballparks aren’t standardized in size. I don’t understand why mangers throw temper tantrums and wear the same uniform as the players. And I don’t understand why deliberately throwing a lethal object at batters is “acceptable” – even expected – behavior.
I guess I’m just not a baseball person.
