New Year’s Circumlocutions by Steve Hockensmith

I’d be happy to welcome Steve Hockensmith back to the blog under any circumstances, but I am overjoyed to be doing so in conjunction with the release of his latest book, The Double-A Western Detective Agency. Steve is an accomplished author who has written middle grade, comedy, short stories, and two different mystery series, but I freely admit to having a special place in my heart for his Holmes on the Range series. So to be gifted a new adventure with Big Red and Old Red in time for the holidays was cause for much rejoicing in this White House.

Steve Hockensmith New Year’s Circumlocutions

I just finished reading a long, long novel, and I love what comes next. My To Be Read pile isn’t a pile: It’s three overflowing book shelves in my office. And now I get to peruse all the books that have been sitting there waiting like the polka-dotted elephant on the Island of Misfit Toys and choose one to pull out and open. It’ll come down to my mood at that particular moment — a whim, in other words — and then I’ll be committed for the next two to four weeks. (I’m a slow reader. That’s one reason my To Be Read shelves are so full. The other reason: I can’t stop f-ing buying books!)

I also just finished writing a long-, long-gestating novel, and I don’t love what comes next. My To Be Written pile isn’t a pile: It’s a vast yet cluttered corner of my mind. And because I don’t have any contracts at the moment — no obligations — I get to peruse all the ideas that have been sitting there like the train with square wheels on the Island of Misfit Toys and choose one to focus on and develop. It’ll come down to my mood at that particular moment — more a gut feeling than a whim, but still ephemeral — and then I’ll be committed for the next year. (I’m a slow writer. That’s one reason my To Be Written corner is so cluttered. The other: I can’t stop f-ing having ideas!)

I think I know which way I’ll go with the reading. Every December I tackle a classic of some kind — a book a teacher should have made me read decades ago — and this year it was Robert Lewis Taylor’s Pulitzer-winning (but now largely forgotten) Gold Rush novel The Travels of Jaimie McPheeters. The Ts of J McPs (as I like to call it) is half wagon train saga, half coming-of-age story, written in an amusing, sprightly style yet long and densely packed with the fruits of laborious research. So although I’m still in the mood for something historical (are you enjoying the 21st century?) I’d like a punchier, more modern follow-up. A short, recent-ish book, in other words. And I’ve got choices on my shelves that fit the bill: The Old Gringo by Carlos Fuentes, God’s Country by Percival Everett and Telegraph Days by Larry McMurtry. But how to decide? Eenie meenie miney mo?

I think I know which way I’ll go with the writing, too. In 2018 I tackled a long-overdue project — a book some readers tell me I should have written years ago — and I actually managed to finish it and put it out myself. The Double-A Western Detective Agency (or The D-A WDA, as I don’t really like to call it) is the sixth novel in my old, heretofore defunct “Holmes on the Range” series. Half fair play puzzle mystery, half range war Western, it’s written in (I hope) an amusing, sprightly style yet required a long, painful gestation. So though I’m still in the mood for something historical (just look at the headlines if you don’t know why) I’d like to move on to a punchier, more modern follow-up. Something a publisher might actually buy, in other words. And I’ve got choices that could fit the bill: an [EXPURGATED], a [DELETED] and a [WITHHELD BY REQUEST OF THE AUTHOR]. (What — you expect me to give away my best ideas?) But how to decide? One potato, two potato?

Actually, this’ll show you how slowly I write: Since beginning this post, I resolved both dilemmas. I decided what to read and what to write. I pulled God’s Country off the shelf and began reading it last night. (Good choice! I like it!) And I began researching the [DELETED]. (Good choice! It’ll be fun!)

And this will show you why it can take me so long to complete a book: Since writing the paragraph above, I changed my mind. I’m still reading God’s Country. (It’s still good!) But I’ve come up with three reasons why [DELETED] isn’t the way to go and I should do [WITHHELD BY REQUEST OF THE AUTHOR] instead.

So what do I know after all that?

I’m going to read lots of books in 2019. Deciding which ones to slide off the To Be Read shelves is going to be fun.

I’m going to write a book in 2019. Deciding which idea to drag out of the To Be Written corner isn’t going to be fun. But it is doing to get done. Eventually. And if that means I add a book to your To Be Read shelf in, say, 2021, I’ll be very, very happy.

Steve Hockensmith is the author of the Pride and Prejudice and Zombies novels Dawn of the Dreadfuls and Dreadfully Ever After. His book Holmes on the Range (Minotaur Books, 2007), first in the six-book series, was a finalist for the Edgar, Shamus, and Anthony Awards for Best First Novel. He is coauthor of both the Tarot Mystery series and the Nick and Tesla middle-grade mystery/science series. Other books include: Cadaver in Chief; Naughty: Nine Tales of Christmas Crime; Dear Mr. Holmes: Seven Holmes on the Range Mysteries; and Blarney: 12 Tales of Lies, Crime & Mystery. Though he considers himself a Midwesterner at heart, Hockensmith currently lives in California’s Bay Area. He says he’s adjusted to life on the West Coast, but confesses that he still misses thunderstorms, snow and Long John Silver’s Seafood Shoppes. He shares his home with the perfect wife, two perfect sons, two slightly imperfect dogs and a hermit crab who’s a bit hard to judge.